Police Blotter

August 21 – September 9

Morro Bay

• Sept. 3: A police crackdown on apparent crack heads continued with the arrest of a 34-year-old man at Avalon and Ironwood at 11:51 a.m. on suspicion of possession of suspected methamphetamine and unspecified paraphernalia.

• Sept. 3: At 8 p.m. police contacted a pair in the North Pit parking lot. The fellow, 32, had a warrant and the woman, 28 allegedly possessed illegal drugs and paraphernalia. Both were injected into County Jail, where without bail, there’ll soon be revolving doors installed.

• Sept. 3: At 7 p.m. police contacted a suspicious woman, 49, at Shasta and Morro Bay Boulevard. Logs indicated the scofflaw had three warrants and was allegedly in possession of paraphernalia, her stash apparently up in smoke.

• Sept. 3: Police responded at 9 a.m. to the 1100 block of Front St., for a reported assault. Logs indicated a 38-year-old no doubt aggravating man was arrested for suspicion of aggravated battery. According to logs, the victim “sustained moderate injuries to his face and head and was transported to the hospital by ambulance.”

• Sept. 2: Police stopped a vehicle at 11 p.m. at Main and Preston because the driver was talking on a cell phone. The dingus, 26, had a suspended license and was cited and released, and would no doubt now call an Uber.

• Sept. 2: Responding to a disturbance, police contacted a regular customer at 5:17 p.m. in the 900 block of Main. The hellion was arrested for suspicion of being pissed in public and uselessly resisting arrest, and the Parkinson Plaza booked another short-term rental.

• Sept. 1: Police responded to a disorderly conduct call at 7:40 p.m. at City Park in the 700 block of MBB. An apparent soused Susie was jailed for suspicion of being spanked where the tourists can see.

• Sept. 1: At 10 a.m. police took a report of two stolen bicycles in the 2300 block of Main. In an unrelated case, at 4:34, they contacted a suspicious woman in Lila Keiser Park. Logs indicated the jackpot winner, 46, was arrested for suspicion of possessing stolen property, paraphernalia, probation violation, false ID, and a warrant.

• Sept. 1: Police responded to a store in the 900 block of Main for a reported crime of the century — some apparently thirsty thief stole a bottle of beer.

• Aug. 31: Police responded at 2:30 p.m. to a business in the 600 block of Quintana where some larcenous fiend had stolen their tip jar. Earlier, someone in the 600 block of Embarcadero had his or her bike stolen.

• Aug. 30: Police stopped a suspicious vehicle at 10:21 p.m. in the 300 block of Jamaica. The driver, 54, hit the California special — expired tags, suspended license and no insurance.

• Aug. 30: Someone found an iPhone, someone else found some keys and some citizen found reason to go to the station and file a report, but logs didn’t say why for.

• Aug. 29: Police stopped a suspicious vehicle at 4:15 p.m. at Main and San Jacinto. Logs indicated a Los Osos woman, 56, was allegedly driving on a toot and was checked into the hoosegow Hilton.

• Aug. 29: A bicycle was stolen from the 100 block of Easter. No leads have arisen.

• Aug. 29: Police and the County Narcotics Task Force raided a house at 6:53 a.m. in the 900 block of Allesandro. Six people of varying ages, men and women, from Morro Bay and Cayucos, were arrested on various drug charges including allegedly maintaining a drug house.

• Aug. 28: Some blackheart stole a lady’s purse at the Community Center.

• Aug. 28: In the found & lost files: Two wallets were turned over to police by the harbor department; someone came to the police station and reported losing a wallet; and in the 800 block of Front, someone found a trash bag filled with food stuffs and miscellaneous clothing. Police gave the meager belongings temporary shelter.

• Aug. 27: Police responded at 8:38 a.m. to a liquor store in the 300 block of Atascadero Rd. They detained a man, 28, for suspicion of stealing liquor, then found out he had a warrant and when searching him for that arrest, allegedly found a stash of crank and an unused glass crack pipe, an apparent case of one thing leads to another.

• Aug. 26: Police contacted a suspicious woman at 8:12 p.m.in the 900 block of Embarcadero. The scofflaw, 30, had a felony warrant and her night was pipped at the post.

• Aug. 25: Police responded at 3:30 p.m. to Ironwood and Sequoia where a 7-year-old child was bitten by a “domesticated” dog, the worst kind of mongrel.

• Aug. 25: Someone at the high school reported a car burglary; logs said they haven’t any clues to go on. A few days later, there were possibly unrelated reports of someone being threatened at the high school.

• Aug. 24: Police cited a kid at the high school for alleged possession of the evil weed at 10:23 a.m. Then at 4:10 p.m. they cited eight hooligans in Lila Keiser Park for “marijuana related charges,” as apparently they subscribe to the stoner’s creed — “A friend with weed is a friend indeed.”

• Aug. 24: Police responded to a reported disorderly fellow at 11 a.m. in the 700 block of MBB. The alleged sot was tossed in the gaol.

• Aug. 22: Police documented a reported case of mutual battery at a senior care facility on Teresa Drive, an apparent rare case of geezer on geezer violence.

• Aug. 22: At 11:57 a.m., in the 200 block of Pacific, a police cruiser was nearly hit by another car, so naturally they pulled the guy over, and of course, he was allegedly driving wrecked.

• Aug. 22: Yet another disruptor was causing a ruckus at 10:53 p.m. in the 2100 block of Main. The bent fellow, 49, was arrested on suspicion of gettin’ uploaded.

• Aug. 22: The warrant squad nabbed a woman 34, in the 1300 block of Main at 12:38 a.m. and a man, 36, at 8 p.m. in the 1700 block of Main who had three warrants. The day before, they got another popular gent in the 900 block of Piney Way.

• Aug. 22: Someone stole a rear license plate off a car parked in the 200 block of Atascadero Rd. And the twice-dinged victim got sentenced to the DMV.

• Aug. 21: In the 300 block of Quintana, a 27-year-old man with two warrants was arrested and also charged with illegal camping and alleged possession of methamphetamine. He crashed in the County sober living facility.

• Aug. 21: A citizen in the 3400 block of Toro Ln., reported ID theft and fraudulent use of a credit card, yet another example of why the Internet is evil.

• Aug. 21: Police responded at 9:55 a.m. to a reported assault in the 3000 block of Panorama and logs said they arrested a woman for alleged “battery on a former dating relationship/roommate” (it’s no doubt complicated).

• Aug. 20: Another disorderly disturbance was reported at 10:36 p.m. at City Park. A 77-year-old little squit had two warrants and was allegedly sauced and so was nicked.

• Aug. 20: Someone broke into a storage unit in the 1000 block of Quintana. No word on the loss, but it probably hasn’t been seen in years.

• Aug. 20: Police are investigating a residential burglary up in the 2500 block of Nutmeg, amongst the fox and hounds squirearchy.

Arroyo Grande

• Sept. 9: Some destructive sneak was arrested on the 500 block of Bakeman Lane for prowling and vandalism.

• Sept. 6: A guy cruising The Pike was pulled over for a traffic stop and was found to be driving with a suspended license, had false registration and a misdemeanor warrant for his arrest.

• Sept. 5: A case of battery between students was reported at Arroyo Grande High School, no doubt raging hormones.

• Sept. 3: The 1100 block of Branch Street was not the place to be. Two separate incidents resulted in arrests for drinking. One was a DUI at In-N-Out, and the other was drunk in public and probation violation at Walmart.

• Sept. 3: In another example of why they call it dope… A woman was arrested for possession of heroin at Community Health Center.

• Sept. 2: Another apparent heroin addict was arrested by Jersey Mike’s after he was observed injecting something into his leg. A stash, presumed to be heroin, was found in the guy’s sock.

Pismo Beach

• Sept. 5: A woman called the police station’s business line and was “rambling about the Airpark, Columbians and pimps at New Life Church.” She hung up and there was no answer on call back.

• Sept. 5: An employee at the Levis store has probably worked her last day, as she was arrested for suspicion of stealing.

• Sept. 5: A transient who started convulsing at Dinosaur Caves Park checked out okay.

• Sept. 5: A caller reported someone on a hill in Husana talking about breaking and entry. When she was told that Pismo doesn’t cover that area, she told dispatch that they are, “being taken over and she knows.” She refused to answer any questions and then hung up.

• Sept. 5: Medics were called to Shell Beach Road at Spyglass to check on someone slumped over a steering wheel in a car with the door half open. It turns out the guy was simply looking at the car’s console.

• Sept. 5: Pacific Wildlife Care was called to the 100 block of Dolliver to look into a pelican with broken wings in the middle of the road.

• Sept. 5: Police were unable to locate a woman at Rite Aid who told employees that there was a warrant for her arrest.

• Sept. 4: A caller reported that a woman had called her and said that she had taken her cat because it was in the street and was almost hit by a car. A witness saw the woman stop, pick up the cat and drive away with it. When contacted, the cat thief denied having the cat and claimed to have dropped it off.

• Sept. 4: Some dude on a bike stole a package on the 200 block of South 11th St. It’s not even the holiday season and the porch thieves are already starting.

• Sept. 4: Someone tried to get in the back door at Denny’s, but was unsuccessful, so he climbed on the roof. It turned out to be district manager creeping about who didn’t tell employees he was in the area.

• Sept. 3: A caller on the 400 block of El Portal reported the curb had been painted red but that he or she didn’t think it was done by the City.

• Sept. 3: A reportedly hammered man strolling in front of Shell Beach Brewhouse fell and kissed the pavement. He was taken to the hoosegow to walk it off.

• Sept. 3: A man was reportedly kicking a door next to the caller’s room at Beach House Inn. Everything checked out okay and police left. The caller called back and said it was still going on but when police arrived, all was quiet.

• Sept. 3: A female at the Spyglass Restaurant reported that her car had been stolen. It turns out her parents had dropped her off for work and parked the car the in the wrong spot.

• Sept. 3: A reportedly drunk man on the 600 block of Dolliver had a crying little boy with him. He was given a ride to Motel 6 where the mother was en route for a tearful reunion.

San Luis Obispo

• Sept. 6: Police were asked to check the welfare of someone at 4:30 a.m. at Santa Rosa and Foothill, apparently passed out in the northeast corner by the Lutheran Church. Neither illegalities, nor sins were revealed.

• Sept. 6: Someone at the Quality Suites on Monterey called in suspicious circumstances at 4:24 a.m. — two men had been in the restroom, together for 5 minutes, and he suspects they’re doing drugs, and if you hurry you’ll catch them in the act! But alas the heads had left the head when police arrived to flush them out.

• Sept. 6: At 3:30 a.m. a citizen at Palm and Pepper complained about a noise, which logs indicated she’d only heard and not seen, seeing of course being difficult with sound.

• Sept. 6: Police got a report at 1:42 a.m. of a transient man in the 600 block of Palm yelling and crying. No arrest was made so stop yer cryin’. Then at 2:35 a.m. at Palm and Toro perhaps the same wanderer was reportedly sitting on a fire hydrant laughing to himself and yelling, no doubt at himself for laughing at himself.

• Sept. 6: A woman in the 1100 block of Laurel reported hearing three gunshots at 12:33 a.m. Police found nothing and the call was an apparent misfire, so go back to sleep.

• Sept. 6: A concerned citizen in the 3400 block of Bullock at 12:34 a.m. complained about seeing several people go in and out of a vehicle parked across the street at all times of the day and night and suspected nefarious shenanigans were afoot. Police decided otherwise.

• Sept. 5: Police were called at 10:56 p.m. to the 700 block of Higuera because two apparently pesky transient men were hanging around outside the Frog & Peach Pub, because of course no unsavory characters are allowed inside.

• Sept. 6: War of the sexes was apparently breaking out. At 12:26 p.m. in the 400 block of Foothill, some banshee had been screaming at the top of her lungs for the past 10 minutes. They arrived 15 minutes later but she was thankfully gone. Then at 12:28, someone in the 1500 block of Osos heard a woman and man in a screaming match. Police separated them and declared a draw.

• Sept. 6: At 9:42 p.m. dispatch got a 9-1-1 hang-up call from the first block of Casa. On callback they got a phone tree and so they hung up.

• Sept. 6: At 9:39 p.m. a woman in the 300 block of Jefferey said she hears heavy breathing coming from under her kitchen window.

• Sept. 6: A woman called at 8:42 p.m. from the 2100 block of Beebee and said her ex-boyfriend was in front of her house and she does not want him there, for obvious reasons and also he’s on parole. Officers had a chat with the apparent creep.

• Sept. 6: A citizen in the 200 block of Ramona reported several loud, trashed young men were in their backyard.

• Sept. 6: A citizen in the 1300 block of Palm reported water gushing into the street from in front of an apartment complex.

• Sept. 5: Someone’s parked vehicle apparent jumped in front of a moving vehicle in the 11900 block of LOVR and the scoundrel split the scene.

• Sept. 5: Police were called to a domestic dust up at 7:22 p.m. in the 1100 block of Orcutt. The caller and his or her 23-year-old child were having a row.

• Sept. 5: At 6:52 p.m. police got a report of a traffic hazard at Foothill and Santa Rosa — a barefooted man in a black T-shirt and tan jeans was walking in the middle of the street. The speed bump was gone when officers arrived.

• Sept. 5: Police were asked at 6:26 p.m. check the welfare of some woman freaking out down in the creek at Mission Plaza. She’d apparently pulled herself together before they arrived.

• Sept. 5: Police were called at 5:03 p.m. to the 3000 block of Higuera because some transient woman was standing outside Fortini Landscaping’s door yelling that she owned the place, and clearly they didn’t dig that pile of fertilizer.

• Sept. 5: At 4:39 p.m. someone at the RTA bus stop at Palm and Osos reported some mutt had marked the shelter with his scent, if you get the drift. He was reportedly still standing in the puddle when the call came in, in this week’s example of why we need SWAT.

• Sept. 5: A fellow called at 2:30 p.m. from the 500 block of Brizzola and said he’d just received a phone call from his estranged father in law apparently asking a bunch of suspicious questions.

• Sept. 5: At 2:25 p.m. in the 700 block of Higuera some music critic complained about excessively loud music at SLO Brew.

• Sept. 5: At 1:37 p.m. someone in the 1600 block of Monterey reported a missing person. Logs indicated they got into an argument about smoking in the room at the Quality Suites and apparently the smoker left, because with the tides turned, the smoker would say, “Good riddance.”

• Sept. 5: A citizen in the 300 block of San Miguel said he or she had just gotten into an altercation with their neighbor and wanted some advice from police on what to do if they retaliate? a case of “Yeah, call the police.”

• Sept. 5: A citizen in the 1200 block of Carmel reported transient squatters inside a vacant commercial building.

• Sept. 5: Police dealt with a number of abandoned vehicles — a yellow VW microbus in the 4500 block of Spanish Oaks; a cream Toyota Dolphin RV at Laurel and Bullock; white Chevy pickup in the 1600 block of Hillcrest; white with red stripe RV in the 500 block of Leff; beige and brown Discovery RV in the 500 block of Buchon; and a white Ford F-150 in the 600 block of Caudill — and that was just on Thursday.

• Sept. 5: Someone called at 10:14 a.m. from the 100 block of Fontana to report a medium sized, black and white Australian shepherd broke a window and was apparently inside, an apparent case of bowser burglary.

• Sept. 5: Someone called at 9:33 a.m. from the 600 block of Marsh to complain about a transient man loitering and drinking hooch behind the Assistance League Thrift Shop. Police gave the mulish fellow the bum’s rush.

• Sept. 5: At 8:28 a.m. a woman in the 2000 block of Price told police that some transient man stopped in front of her house and pointed his dirty finger at her, and then turned away, a hanging offense in San Lunacy. In another crime against humanity, some transient fellow had spent the night in the 600 block of Santa Rosa and was now in the parking garage, and… he’s smoking!

• Sept. 5: Police responded at 7:54 a.m. to the 12300 block of LOVR at Toyota of San Luis where some unknown scalawag had broken into a vehicle overnight and left drug paraphernalia inside.

• Sept. 5: At 7:46 a.m. a citizen told police there were seven holes in the street gushing water in the 500 block of Foothill in the Brazil Heights.

• Sept. 5: At 7:19 a.m. someone said there was a loose cow, 10-feet off the railroad tracks near the Amtrak Station, which is what cowcatchers are for.

• Sept. 5: A woman in the 1000 block of Leff called at 5:48 a.m. and said there was a strange man sleeping on her porch. She couldn’t give any further details, as she was afraid to look. The apparent porch monkey was gone when officers arrived.

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