Police Blotter

October 29 – November 13

Arroyo Grande
• Nov. 11: One driver stopped on Oak Park was arrested for being under the influence of hooch. Another Driver was pulled over for failing to stop at a stop sign and was arrested for a suspended license.
• Nov. 10: A driver on the 800 block of Huasna was busted after she collided into a power line and was found to be three sheets to the wind.
• Nov. 09: Two juveniles used the ‘ol five-finger discount at Rite Aid and pocketed bottles of alcohol. They were found the next day in possession of the alcohol, and it was determined that they were runaways.
• Nov. 09: Some sweet tooth stole candy from the Chevron station.
• Nov. 09: A man was arrested for prowling, possession of stolen property and petty theft on the 1500 block of Sierra Drive.

Morro Bay
• Nov. 4: Police stopped a suspicious vehicle at 9 p.m. for some no doubt trumped up code violation somewhere in town. The driver caught the unholy trinity — allegedly high on drugs, caught holding drugs and a hookah pipe, too.
• Nov. 4: Police responded at 3 p.m. to a reported assault on the Embarcadero. Logs indicated a 70-year old louse was tossed to the gaol for suspicion of domestic violence.
• Nov. 3: Police responded at 10:42 p.m. to the 300 block of Morro Bay Blvd., after someone tried to make a forceful withdrawal from the ATM at the long-closed Bank of America, causing damage to the poor innocent machine.
• Nov. 3: Police stopped another suspicious vehicle at 9:54 p.m. again at an undisclosed location. The woman driver hit the trifecta — allegedly driving high, and possessing drugs and the instruments to abuse them, too.
• Nov. 3: Police stopped a vehicle at 5:57 p.m. in the 2300 block of Hemlock. The woman driver, 39, was arrested for suspicion of driving under the influence of “polydrugs.” The polliwog went to the hoosegow.
• Nov. 3: Police and fire responded at 12:35 p.m. to a non-injury, car crash, as the Roundabout claims another.
• Nov. 2: Police responded at 11:18 p.m. to a disturbance in the 200 block of Pacific. A 28-year-old hombre was arrested for suspicion of being schwasted on drugs. He chilled in the cooler.
• Nov. 2: Police responded at 7:30 p.m. to Albertson’s on Quintana after they’d caught a sticky-fingered shopper using the help-yourself line. The 29-year-old fellow was jailed for suspicion of shoplifting.
• Nov. 2: Police responded at 3:10 p.m. to City Park on Harbor Street for a report of several men getting schnockered in the park without a permit. Logs indicated one bent fellow, 54, was arrested for suspicion of public drunkenness and “making death threats to an officer.” Another scofflaw, 49, had two out-of-county warrants and was written his future third FTA, and released. A third model citizen, 58, also got nicked for suspicion of being schnockered.
• Nov. 2: A concerned citizen reported a missing person, and police will keep an eye out for the apparent wanderer.
• Nov. 2: Police responded at 1:11 to Albertson’s where they had caught an alleged shoplifter. The 47-year-old woman allegedly tried to vanish a bottle of hooch. She also had a warrant on her concerning a previous attempt at larcenous Bacchanalia and was transported to the former Hedges Hilton.
• Nov. 2: Someone in the 200 block of Beach reported possible suspected alleged child abuse. Police made note of the incident.
• Nov. 2: Police responded at “2500” hours, according to Logs, for a car crash at Piney Way and Pacific. No injures reported.
• Nov. 1: A citizen came to the police station at 8:35 a.m. and reported yet another alleged case of child abuse. This one police will investigate.
• Oct. 31: Police contacted a suspicious man at 6:55 p.m. in the 200 block of Pacific. The soup sandwich was arrested for a Morro Bay felony, suspicion of being krunked in public.
• Oct. 31: Police and fire responded at 1 p.m. to the 200 block of Atascadero Rd., for a medical emergency at Motel 6.
• Oct. 31: Police “tagged, logged and booked into property” two bicycles found in the 2900 block of Birch.
• Oct. 31: At noon, police and fire responded to an injury accident somewhere on South Bay Boulevard.
• Oct. 30: At 4:10 p.m. police and fire responded to an injury accident at Kodiak and Tide. No word on the extent of the carnage.
• Oct. 29: There was a non-injury accident at 7:29 p.m. in the 500 block of Quintana.
• Oct. 29: Police stopped a suspicious vehicle at 1:46 p.m. According to logs, during the stop, the passenger apparently raised suspicions and logs indicated he was tested and “determined to be UTI drugs.” Adding to his woes, they reportedly found methamphetamine on his person while being booked into County Jail.

Pismo Beach
• Nov. 12: A couple of slobs on the 600 block of Cypress were throwing items out of a parked car. They were scolded and police watched as they cleaned up their mess.
• Nov. 12: Somebody was loitering and acting odd near the construction site at the end of Hinds. No word on what the hammerhead was up to.
• Nov. 12: A caller reported finding a bike with no tires near Harry’s Bar. He or she was asked to ride the bike to the station.
• Nov. 12: A woman at the Sea Crest Resort was cleaning her phone and dialed 9-1-1 and hung up. A supervisor at the hotel confirmed that everything was okay.
• Nov. 12: There was a flurry of Surrey problems when two people were riding them on the pier and another was cruising on a sidewalk.
• Nov. 12: A caller on the 900 block of Skyline requested extra patrols because he or she suspected a possible prowler in the area the night before and they didn’t feel safe.
• Nov. 12: A caller on the 100 block of Stimson said that her nephew had parked his car sometime in the last couple of hours, and it was missing. The nephew called the station and declined to make a report but said that he would do so the next day. Surely, the second 24 hours is the best time to find stolen property.
• Nov. 12: Two people at Wooly’s were hammered and refused to leave. They had been drinking but not enough, so they were advised to leave and go back to where they were staying.
• Nov. 11: A guy reported not hearing from his girlfriend in about 12 hours. She checked out okay.
• Nov. 11: A caller at the Blue Seal Inn reported a man in a room threatening to stab a woman. Naturally, the Bickerson’s told police it was only a verbal dispute.
• Nov. 11: Extra patrols were requested on the 900 block of Oak Park because there was a barrel and a bunch of firewood behind a building. The caller was concerned that someone might come by and start a fire.
• Nov. 11: A guest at Motel 6 reported that his catheter might not be draining. The call was transferred to CDF.
• Nov. 11: A caller on Village Circle reported someone driving around the neighborhood and thought that they might be casing the place. One person in the car was cited for not wearing a seatbelt and driving with an invalid license.
• Nov. 11: A total of nine dogs were reported on the pier. Pismo is going to the dogs.
• Nov. 11: A guest at Ventana Grill, who had asked for his check, had been drinking and was heard on the phone saying that he was going to drive to LA. He then harassed the hostess. After chatting with police, he decided to get a room at the Shore Cliff. About a half an hour later he was back harassing an employee. He was advised against trespassing and returned to his room. About an hour later, the slippery guy and his car were gone.
• Nov. 11: A reportedly sloshed woman attempted to retrieve her car from the valet at the Cliff’s Resort. Police convinced her to find a ride or rent a room.

San Luis Obispo
• Nov. 13: Police responded at 6:44 a.m. to the 12500 block of LOVR for a disturbance. Logs indicated some fruit-loop dingus was freaking out across from the strawberry stand. It was his second run-in with the police in one night.
• Nov. 13: The burglar alarm in the vault at Home Depot went off at 4:54 a.m. Logs indicated it was human error, and nothing to be alarmed about.
• Nov. 13: Police responded at 3:16 a.m. to a welfare check in the 200 block of Santa Rosa, where some t*rd has been hogging the toilet for the past 45 minutes. Police flushed him out.
• Nov. 13: Police were called at 1:54 a.m. to the 1200 block of Mill where a citizen claimed a vehicle had been left idling for 2 hours, an apparent case of climate change be damned! Logs indicated they arrested an 18-year-old slacker for suspicion of resisting arrest and possessing marijuana, which explains a lot.
• Nov. 13: Police got a 9-1-1 call at 1:47 a.m. from Motel 6 but the caller immediately hung up. On call back, they got a fax machine.
• Nov. 13: Police were called at 1:43 a.m. to the 1200 block of Prospect where a man said he was outside the house and “is scared he will be eaten by cannibals.” SLOPD turned this feast over to Sheriff’s deputies.
• Nov. 13: And speaking of fine young cannibals, at 1:36 a.m. someone reported suspicious circumstances in the 100 block of California Blvd., at the Alpha Gamma Rho fraternity. Police couldn’t find any crazy people, out of the ordinary at least.
• Nov. 13: Police were called at 12:21 a.m. to Meadow Park because some apparent nillionaires were sleeping in a parked car.
• Nov. 12: Police responded at 11:44 p.m. to Dick’s Sporting Goods on LOVR where some irate d******d was being a d**k. The apparent Squit, 45, was arrested for suspicion of obstruction of justice.
• Nov. 12: At 10:20 p.m. someone in the 1000 block of Leff complained about six loud dinguses on a garage roof. Police decided that wasn’t against the law.
• Nov. 12: Police responded at 10:14 p.m. to the 1000 block of Orcutt where a citizen said some knot-head threw two, 2X4 boards into his or her front door.
• Nov. 12: Police got a 9-1-1 call at 8:33 p.m. from a woman at Portola and Capistrano who said there was a transient man in her neighborhood and she doesn’t think he belongs there.
• Nov. 12: At 8:17 p.m. police were asked to assist County Mental Health workers with an apparently difficult case at French Hospital.
• Nov. 12: Some outlaw Hoss ripped off the Launderosa in the 1100 block of Madonna.
• Nov. 12: A citizen reported at 5:42 p.m. from the 3400 block of Johnson that a huge bag of aluminum cans fell out of a truck bed and spilled all over the road.
• Nov. 12: At 5:13 p.m. a citizen in the 200 block of Lincoln said a naked man just ran out of a house and down the road towards Center Street, in this week’s example of why we need SWAT.
• Nov. 12: At 4:40 p.m. a citizen at Broad and Higuera reported a dumpster smoking.
• Nov. 12: Someone abandoned a white, BMW SUV in the 600 block of Sweeney.
• Nov. 12: Police were called at 4 p.m. to the 200 block of Madonna where some transient man was standing outside the door and refusing to leave McDonald’s.
• Nov. 12: A citizen called at 3:08 p.m. to report a hazardous fellow in a yellow T-shirt erratically riding a bicycle and running stoplights at Santa Barbara and Broad.
• Nov. 12: Police were called at 3 p.m. to CVS on Marsh where a woman who has stolen several times from the store had returned and may have just done it again, a case of going to the well one too many times.
• Nov. 12: A citizen called at 1:53 p.m. to rat out several hooligans riding bikes and skateboards through the Marsh Street parking garage, a hanging offense here in San Looney.
• Nov. 12: A citizen called at 1:47 p.m. to report an apparently irate banshee in a white van was yelling at the manager of Dollar Tree Store on Madonna. She was gone before they arrived to give her something to scream about.
• Nov. 12: A woman was seriously injured at 1:20 p.m. when she was hit by a car at Johnson and Monterey. The driver was arrested for suspicion of DUI.
• Nov. 12: Police were called at 1:14 p.m. to the 1000 block of Chorro where six transient men were sitting in a gazebo smoking the evil weed at Luna Red. The potheads were gone when police arrived.
• Nov. 12: At 1:45, someone at the Damon Garcia Sport Fields pitched a fit because some transient man pitched a tent on the sidewalk.
• Nov. 12: At 12:37 p.m. a man called 9-1-1 to ask for a ride to the police station from IHOP on Madonna.
• Nov. 12: Some harasstard was bothering employees in the parking lot of SLO Camp ‘n Pack store in the 300 block of Higuera. In an unrelated matter, 2 minutes later, a woman told police that some suspicious man was following her around Downtown while she is shopping. Police warned that creepazoid off.
• Nov. 12: At 12:13 p.m. police got the call that all officers dread — a transient woman taking a crap in the bushes in the 3200 block of Higuera outside a window at Premier Heart and Vein. In an unrelated call, at 11:59 a.m. someone reported “a terrible smell” at Sacramento and Capitolio.
• Nov. 12: Someone called at 11:53 a.m. to report a transient man dragging a green garbage can down the street at Broad and Tank Farm, which is no doubt why they reinstated the death penalty.
• Nov. 12: At 11:27 a.m. in the 3400 block of broad, someone complained about a transient man sleeping on the ground behind a big truck at Rec Solar. And at 8:50 a.m. another sleeping transient was reported in the parking lot at Century 21 in the 500 block of Higuera.
• Nov. 12: Police went to the 3000 block of McMillan where some Gilligan abandoned a boat with a red canvas tarp.
• Nov. 12: Police responded at 8:12 a.m. to the Chevron on Marsh Street where some freeloading Freddie drank a coffee he didn’t pay for.
• Nov. 12: Some scoundrel clear cut vegetation in the creek by Laguna Middle School several weeks ago, as it apparently took some time to get ticked off about it.
• Nov. 12: Police responded at 4:42 a.m. to a gas station on Santa Rosa at Foothill where a woman said someone kidnapped her and then dumped her off at the Shell Station and took off. Earlier, at 1:52 a.m. police responded to that Shell station because there were three people in the parking lot begging people for gas money.
• Nov. 12: At 1:08 a.m. police responded to a disturbance in the 800 block of Boysen. Logs indicated the caller’s girlfriend’s brother was drunk and trying to force his way into their bedroom, the perv.
• Nov. 12: At 12:20 a.m. someone in the 900 block of Chorro complained about a rowdy party with “hooting and hollering.” Police warned the resident Poly dolly and her 30 revelers to shadd-up already.
• Nov. 11: Someone at Hathway and Carpenter called at 9:58 p.m. to report some fooliot trying to cut down a stop sign with a handsaw.
• Nov. 11: Police were called at 8:07 p.m. to the 400 block of Marsh where some woman was lighting small pieces of paper in her hand outside the SLO Board of Realtors. The voodoo child was gone when officers arrived.
• Nov. 11: At 5:59 p.m. at Monterey and Morro four apparent battleaxes were fighting.
• Nov. 11: Police got a call at 4:48 p.m. from an upset woman in the 200 block of Del Mar complaining that her neighbor was smoking. In an unrelated incident, at 3:34 p.m. in Mission Plaza someone complained about a large group of transients being loud and — gasp! — they’re smoking too! And at 3:24 p.m. someone complained about 20 role models skateboarding, smoking and drinking on the basketball courts at Bishop Peak School.
• Nov. 11: At 2:18 p.m. in the 12400 block of LOVR, a customer walked into the Chevron station and said some ruffian just threatened to shoot him.
• Nov. 11: At 1:10 a.m. a woman in the 1700 block of Oceanaire reported seeing a man’s hand go in her window. Police took a prowler report. In an equally creepy case, a citizen in the 1200 block of Atascadero called at 12:58 a.m. said it sounds like someone’s in his or her side shed, as they heard footsteps and the door creak.
• Nov. 10: Police were called at 7:38 p.m. to the 800 block of Marsh for a report of two, “smelly, stinky bums” sleeping in the Post Office.
• Nov. 10: At 6:21 p.m. police got a report from French Hospital that they had a fire in their surgical sterilizer, which would certainly sterilize it.
• Nov. 10: At 6 p.m. someone called from the 1900 block of Santa Barbara and said the music is on and the doors are open but there’s no one at the Del Monte Café.

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