The San Luis Obispo County Sheriff’s Coast Station covers a huge territory, spanning from Avila Beach out to the County Airport and up the North Coast to the County Line at Ragged Point. Coast Station deputies patrol the towns of Los Osos, Avila Beach, Cayucos, Cambria and San Simeon. This is a sampling of calls from Aug. 1 to Aug. 6.
• Cayucos: Deputies were called at 9:09 p.m. to quell an apparent uprising in the 3200 block of Studio Dr. No drastic measures were needed.
• Cayucos: Deputies were alerted at 5:15 p.m. of a suicidal subject in the 100 block of I St. They were unable to locate the apparently lost soul.
• Cambria: Someone in the 600 block of Ardath reported grand theft, though deputies determined it wasn’t so grand and probably not even theft.
• Cayucos: A citizen at 9th and Pacific called in a disturbance at 2:11 p.m. All was quiet when deputies arrived at 3:56 p.m., which isn’t surprising.
• Cambria: Someone reported a case of spousal abuse at 2 p.m. in the 4300 block of Bridge St. Eight deputies responded, which might explain the tardy response above to Cayucos. A crime report resulted.
• Cayucos: Someone in the 100 block of Ocean Ave., reported a disturbance of the peace at 12:24 a.m. Deputies arrested the disruptive fellow.
• Los Osos: Someone in the 1300 block of 9th suspected something criminal was afoot. A crime report of an unspecified nature was begun.
• County Jail: Deputies documented a “Jail Incident” i.e. a fight, in the Parkinson Plaza and fruit bin. Logs said they made an arrest, as some people just never learn.
• Cayucos: At 7:30 p.m. deputies were called to the 400 block of St. Mary Ave., to referee an apparent holy war. No arrests were needed thank God.
• Cambria: Someone in the 900 block of Hartford reported a petty theft.
• Cayucos: Someone reported at 11:16 a.m. a violation of County codes on the Cayucos Pier. The scofflaws were gone when deputies arrived at 1 p.m.
• Los Osos: Deputies stopped an apparent reckless bicyclist at 8:24 p.m. at LOVR and 8th. The hellion was cited for some undisclosed indiscretion.
• Los Osos: Someone called at 2 p.m. to report some swizzle stick traipsing up LOVR at South Bay. He or she was apparently not drunk enough to arrest.
• Los Osos: Two gents in the 1900 block of Tapidero reported grand thefts, and deputies will no doubt have a jolly ‘ol time investigating.
• San Luis Obispo: deputies responded at 10:46 p.m. to the 3900 block of Orcutt for suspected criminal activity. An arrest was made, so good catch.
• Cayucos: Someone reported a loud unruly party at 1:08 p.m. in the 500 block of Ocean Ave. A crime report was begun and the party pooped upon.
• Cambria: Someone called at 4:34 a.m. to report an assault with a deadly weapon in the 7400 block of Exotic Garden rd. A crime report was begun.
• Los Osos: A citizen in the 1100 block of LOVR called at 1:39 p.m. to report a crime of undisclosed severity, though logs indicated deputies made a federal case out of it.
• SLO: Deputies served a search warrant at 8 a.m. 2300 block of Boulevard Del Campo with 13 deputies taking part. No word on what they discovered but at 5:18 p.m. they returned to the home and arrested some master criminal on undisclosed charges.
• SLO: Deputies contacted a suspicious fellow at 10 p.m. in the 10000 block of LOVR and arrested the apparent “loo-zer” no doubt on some Trumped up charge.
• Cambria: Someone in the 4200 block of Bridge St., called at 11:59 p.m. to report a suspicious subject. Logs indicated deputies arrested the sneaky sneak.
• Los Osos: An assault with a deadly weapon was reported at 11:46 p.m. in the 1400 block of 7th. No report was filed, as the fight was apparently a draw.
• Los Osos: Deputies were called at 1:20 p.m. to check the welfare of someone in the area of 9th and LOVR. Logs indicated they were unable to locate the poor fellow, so apparently they’re now lost too.
• Los Osos: A citizen in the 1600 block of 8th reported getting annoying and lewd phone calls. A crime report was begun, though an air horn blast in the ear hole works best.
• Los Osos: Some poor citizen in the 1300 block of Las Encinas complained about a loud party at 11:19 p.m. Deputies ended the fiesta.
• Los Osos: Someone in the 1200 block of Los Olivos reported a petty theft.
• County Jail: Someone at the County Jail filed a “confidential report” on some mysterious criminal activity going on in the County Jail, which sees as much crime as some towns in this county.
• Cayucos: Disturbance of the peace complaints were received at 8:10 p.m. in the 200 block of D St., and at 11:32 p.m. in the 3100 block of Ocean Blvd., gotta love them vacation rentals.
• Los Osos: Deputies stopped a suspicious vehicle at 11:18 p.m. at Santa Ysabel and 11th and arrested the apparently stinky driver.
• Los Osos: Some petty thief committed petty theft in the 2100 block of 10th.
• County Jail: Logs indicated they had to re-arrest six model citizens who apparently couldn’t make bail fast enough.